Anticipatory Grief

Did you know that even existed? I did not until today. Anticipatory grief or expected grief is grieving a loss before the loss happens.

After the death of a loved one, society has cultural norms about how to response. There are even widely recognized steps in the grieving process. According to the booklet I was given today, "Society does not fully understand and recognize expected grief, so it is not clear how we are suppose to act and feel (p.2)."

My mother is under hospice care, and this booklet gave credibility to the range of emotions I have seen in myself and my family. This quote on page 7 puts so much in perspective. "One moment you may be giving them permission to die and in the next you may be encouraging them to take another sip of juice (to live)." (My emphasis added.)

The writer of the booklet even quoted Edgar Allen Poe and his experience with his wife. I have though very little about that writer since high school English class. "Nevermore," said in a scary deep voice. Never though I would have something in common with him.

Source: Anticipatory Grief: Expecting The Loss, Feeling The Pain by Marty Hogan, LCSW, MSW