I'm bbaack.

Summer has finally arrived and homeschool has ended, so I'm back at writing here in the blog. What's news? C.S. Lewis is. I have been reading some of his stuff. His writing about grief has awoken me to his writings beyond the Narnia series. And, oh yea, The Screwtape Letters, but I couldn't wrap my mind around the reverse thinking I had to do to appreciate those letters many years ago. Maybe one day, but back to the subject ...

In Made For Heaven, Lewis writes, "This signature on each soul may be a product of heredity and environment, but that only means that heredity and environment are among the instruments whereby God creates a soul.  I am considering not how, but why, He makes each soul unique. If he had no use for all these differences, I do not see why He should have created more souls than one. Be sure that the ins and outs of your individuality are no mystery to Him; and one day they will no longer be a mystery to you. The mould in which a key is made would be a strange thing, if you had never see a key: and the key itself a strange thing if you had never seen a lock. Your soul has a curious shape because it is a hollow made to fit a particular swelling in the infinite contours of the Divine substance, or a key to unlock one of the doors in the house with many mansions. For it is not humanity in the abstract that is to be saved, but you--you, the individual reader, John Stubbs or Janet Smith. Blessed and fortunate creature, your eyes shall behold Him and not another's. All that you are, sins apart, is destined, if you will let God have His good way, to utter satisfaction. The Broken spectre 'looked to every man like his first love', because she was a cheat. But God will look to every soul like its first love because He is its first love. Your place in heaven will seem made for you and you alone, because you were made for it--made for it stitch by stitch as a glove is made for a hand" (p. 20-23).

For someone who has lost a mother, these words comforted me and compelled me. Oh dear friend, what awaits us in heaven is inconceivable. My mother is happy, and me here on this earth is left to wait and know that I am uniquely made and gifted. One of kind, that's me. I feel valued, loved and equipped. God has made me unique, and so has he made you.

Here is me and my mama. The photo was taken in the late 90's. I placed it inside a plaque about mothers and daughters. That is the curly stuff you see. I think I gave it to her for a Christmas gift. She kept it on her dresser.

I miss my mama.